It describes my modus operandi. And it's always worked well for me, although I do somewhat regret not being as productive during the periods of assimilation. Nevertheless, I realize that these quite different periods are necessary and complementary. For me, the creative process is a cycle, and periods of reflection are as important as periods of productivity. In fact, it's during the periods of reflection that future projects begin to take shape. Consolidation and assimilation are as necessary as full-speed-ahead, deadlines-to-be-met productivity.
During 2008, Life Force Books published two books. I created a new website and spoke to groups all over the world. I needed to slow down a bit and consolidate. Yes, I had planned a new website, a new book, and a new internet TV interview show. But before moving forward I had to assure myself that the necessary infrastructure for these projects was in place.
As I began to examine the direction of my work, various questions popped up. What is the state of Kundalini? Where is empirical metaphysical research headed? How does my Kundalini experience fit into the current work on Kundalini and Kundalini meditation being done? I started tracking the subject on the internet. I talked and corresponded with people all over the world. To process what I learned I had to come to a full stop.
It's not that I have been unproductive during this past year, I created the Golden Flower Forum, and, in fits and starts, put together this blog, and continually updated The Golden Flower Podcast. I spent a lot of time familiarizing myself with Twitter and Facebook. Even wrote an article for an Australian magazine. And just finished publishing two Life Force Books titles in all eBook formats at Smashwords.
Since I awakened Kundalini in 1972, it has become a topic of great interest, one fraught, however, with varying and often irreconcilable positions, definitions, goals, and practices. It will be difficult, if not impossible, to come up with a single, unified field theory.
AND that's why I'm going to stop trying. What I have learned in my most recent period of reflection over the past six months is that I need to continue to pursue my work the way I see it, without regard to cults, fads, or trends.
Recently, I attended the 2009 Alchemy Conference at the Los Angeles Convention Center where I watched cults, fads, or trends at work, up close and personal. I saw seekers toiling away at their respective metaphysical arts. I listened to thousands of words, watched groups at lectures nodding in attentive rapport. Many questions and many answers. Very sincere, very respectful, very enthusiastic. Yet, for some reason, personally unsatisfying. I say personally because I take responsibility for my lack of enthusiasm, my inability to connect. I'm out of touch, behind the curve, out to pasture, off the beaten track. And I know it. I'm a product of my era, to some degree.
That's why I'm going to forge ahead doing my projects, my way. Reaching out, trying to please, trying to connect are all very well and good. But if they entail compromise or making concessions, then the work I have to do will never get done. Why? Because this work relies on absolute self-truth, on examining and questioning everything I see, hear, and feel. Without this it's only so much white noise, better left in the halls and corridors of the LA Convention Center.